OK…I’ll admit, I haven’t posted a lot about Maddi lately because someone once told me “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” LOL
No really it has been a rough road and there are definitely good days and I need to do better about focusing on those good minutes days.
Bonding after adoption sounds like it should come naturally…and for some it does.
For me…not so much.
While we were in China, I was struggling, she was struggling…it was just BAD.
Then we got home and suffered through that first week and things started to get in a groove.
But in all honesty…it felt a lot like babysitting a monster child whose parents never came to get her.
And I know that sounds horrible, but that’s how I felt.
I recently got an email from a reader asking why I hadn’t posted a lot about Maddi lately. And after thinking about it, that’s why. I still kind of feel like I’m babysitting her and I’m a little ashamed that it’s not coming as fast for me.
The bonding has definitely started to come along, but it’s been hard.
You hope and wish and dream about a child for years. Then you get matched with one and you have a picture to hang your hopes on. Then you meet her and …
she scratches, kicks, spits and at times stinks.
I have to remind myself every day that I’m the grown up.
I try to have set boundaries with her (which some people think I’m being too hard on her) or she’ll walk all over every one in the family.
If I don’t react the same way every time she does something, she’ll think it’s ok.
Ever heard the “Give ’em an inch and they’ll take a mile” well Maddi will take 2 miles and laugh in your face about it.
Honestly I think even if I’d been with her since the very beginning of her life, we’d still be struggling right now…it’s just not a fun age. (Actually I’m seriously hoping this is just a phase and that we’ll get past it because if she’s this difficult for the rest of her life…oh boy…We’ll have to buy a winery for me to make it through each day!)
She starts OT next week to try and help with some of her sensory issues (scratching). It has gotten better since I wrote the post about Struggling with Aggressive Toddler Behaviors, but we still need some professional help.
Her surgery has been confirmed for January 22 so we have 20 days to get prepared for that.
But…that means that the next few months are going to be REALLY ROUGH because she’ll have this first major surgery and then 2 months later she’ll have a second surgery to close the colostomy.
But hopefully by summer, we’ll be able to have a much smoother road and life will get a little easier.
Thank you to the reader that emailed me. I appreciate the reminder that people appreciate my take on real life. (Reminds me of The Real World slogan…when people stop being polite…and start getting real.)
And thank you to the other readers that email me regularly and comment on my blog! I truly appreciate the connection and support that I get from the Play 2 Learn community!
Happy New Year!
